[choices]

nothing like a great movie to get the emotions circulating again. not exactly a good thing but its better to face it now.

watched the lake house. very nice show. guess the bit that gets u is the fact that it contains themes we all can relate with. that of waiting for that loved one.

which is quite a poignant issue personally in my life.

one choice seems the right thing to do, something all the great morals inside of me will be so proud of me. its like a feeling when u look up to a pantheon of gods all smiling down upon you. but that's all you're gonna get to face the flood of misery that creeps up when you're most vulnerable.

then there's the practical choice. the kind we'd expect grown ups to do. i'm wondering whether to classify myself as grown up but i guess nobody not everyone who has grown up chooses to acknowledge. seems to be like a concession to the fact that life has indeed screwed up upside down and you're nothing but a victim living out your sorry life. i refuse to fall into that category even though i may have been wallowing in it for a very long time now.

but then again. none of these choices offers a surgical seperation from the miseries of the other choice. so technically, i'm wondering if there's any choice at all.

in any case, i guess the only solace is that the 'next' person to sweep me off my feet is gonna make all this worthwhile. not exactly worthwhile, but after misery, don't we all deserve some good stuff?

and yeah guess i made the right choice. give it your 100%. sure you'll crash and burn at times. but damn u'll never ever get any closer to heaven.

the rangola song keeps on playing.

[lift me to the heavens]

u know you're flying...

feels so good

now to harness all that energy

[integra]

I WANT INTEGRA. i want that car i saw along the when running. i want that car parked along the road.

she was wearing my colours. a blue that ran the fine line btw spunk and pedigree.

she was wearing my blingbling. two rims that would look like spinning discs. simple, breaktaking, the way every girl should be.

SGG smth... hope he treats her well, whoever he is.

forgot to check out the stick. manual or auto.

[HAHAHAh]

okay... having a headache from loud noise probably...

sometimes we choose the paths that lead away from happiness, just a random quote that came to me.

[weapon X]

hahah feels really good to be free!

time to rock on till aug 11.

YEAH!

[all the interim is a hideous dream]

let me be my best tomorrow. i need your help.

my lower eyelid twitches randomly. i'm becoming some psycho piece of crap.

argh. hope everything turns out well. i'll be the one smiling in the end.

aye aye captain! (spongebobs is the best!)

[i suck]

i really suck.

[loss of focus]

interesting things. car autolocked itself with both keys inside (or so we thought). haha we tried the RULER method of opening doors (apparently that's how they break into cars). then we call this locksmith. he comes. prys the door open with inflatable bags. uses rod to press the window button. leaves with a enough money i reckon for a full tank of petrol. (i dunno how much that costs now)

later we discover the spare key wasn't in the car, after all.

when disaster strikes :)

[carrera]

got to see another side to the life of my father.

thanks father. i know wad i must do now.

sometimes the best advice are those that seem too frighteningly simple. but life is simple. we're the ones who mess it up.

[land of smiles]

feels good to put the smiles ahead to brighten your path and that of others around you. sometimes its all the light you're gonna get, and damn its all you'll ever need, most of the time at least.

one good thing leads to another and may this smile brighten up my entire life.

[hellothere]

okay. nothing beats the guilt and inspiration you gain after an afternoon of stoning. suddenly realised something, can explain why a certain friend is the way he is.

basically it all boils down to finding purpose in life. the boredom of just stoning is just too much and we find all sorts of ways to amuse ourselves. in a bid to convince ourselves that we're not wasting our lives away.

still searching for something that's good enough... somehow maybe the trick lies in taking on a few things... can one thing be enough? or would it be the best to just take one everything possible. maximum output.

getting somewhere.

[two things]

1. sorry. let it go. hate will only consume you.

2. feminine charms

[the end of an ending]

there's a difference between knowing the path, and walking it.

now, show me the horizon.

[angels brought me here]

wow. THANKS so much for the phonecall!

suddenly the world seems so much brighter, like jason mraz would say 'they change the traffic light to a brighter shade of yellow'!

happiness.

thanks.

[when did i leave the zoo?]

hahah just a random blog... nobody to talk to online... despite it being a friday night?

okay let's talk about things... how's life? life's good i guess. i guess its still the same lah, finding new pleasures to replace the ones i know i can't have anymore. cursing whatever i used to have, condemning it, though deep inside i know its the best i've ever had. i guess its just the way it has to be...

hahaha somehow all i could dream of is driving some manual transmission car. and loathe all those driving automatic transmissions... haha i dunno why i've become like this... dunno lah its just the beauty of feeling the transmission connect in bits... feel that control over power. someday... porsche... grrrr. must make it work out.

hahaha sometimes we are motivated alot not by what we want to be, but cos we know wad we don't want to be. i feel that's the case for me. but to be, or not to be, what's the difference. in the end you know what you want and that's all that matters.

i used to think of how small minded people can be, living out their own lives, striving for merely simple things. nobody worries about the world running out of space and oil running out. everyone's just worrying about how their gonna fill their tank tml. how they are going to avoid the morning hour traffic. with a family yah its them first everyone else second. simple logic.

gonna try to rise above all that. dunno how right now, but i must.

somehow i have this feeling i'll just turn out like everyone else lah. dreams of youth drowned in tears. dreams obscured by the scars that dictate the course of our lives.

man is a rope across an abyss.

[drift away]

hahah i guess i'm just tired from running.

[blog]

just blogging so that my most recent post won't be the previous one.

as a note, i'm not still thinking about whether to get married.

i can understand why some ppl just dun have a plan for life. and others are trying so hard to have one.

haha i feel so slack. watching the days of my life waste away.

yeah one thing's certain, next time its gonna be fantastic. not too many compromises.