[parents these days]

we fall in love for ourselves
we get attached/married for the rest of the world

isn't the statement so true? and i coined it up myself. woah. i'm getting so clever these days.

just realised that our parents influence us in alot of ways. reflecting on my own love life, alot of my actions/ decisions have the roots in my experiences with my parents.

...

haha

watched this show called aval appadithaan on central on sunday... wahhh it was somehow damn profound and nice.

feel like withdrawing to my own little world today.

[heys]

i primarily came to blog about one thing alone.

the girls who ran AHM, some of them are DAMN HOT. as i was telling the scouts, nothing beats watching sweat glistening on those bodies, poetry in motion. wow. mindblowing.

its the same feeling i get after seeing a nice car, btw.

anyhow i've realised the perhaps the key to life is to uncouple ourselves from the manacles of causality. why must we be logical in a world that operates on such screwed up logic?

this way, u become more immune to the bludgeonings of the chance, as a poet once described it.

[birthday]

i know how a birthday should be celebrated now

[keeping some for myself]

i used to think it was noble to keep no hope for myself. save up the hope for someone else. somehow.

feels quite retarded on hindsight.

hahah its been quite awhile. maybe that's the spark that was missing all the while.

computer's subwoofer not workinggggg. grrrr. i need some bass.

[fleeting]

somehow the week seems longer when u can't wait to get to the end of it. but u know. tml is actually wednesday. this week's endin~!

so many faces. yet they all just seem to fly by. none seems to stop and stay.

and yes. i dun wanna fake it that i'm interested when i'm not. i dun see the need to put up fronts with ppl who i consider frens.

hahah its a problem i've faced since i left primary sch. still no answer. still waiting.

maybe its something wrong with me. can someone tell me? maybe i shall ask someone tml. got someone in mind.

dunno lah. its a wadeva moment. i wonder wad if i could fast forward to the point when life starts making sense. when i'm a doctor. when i'm married?

just feels sad.

[ :) ]

my brother's birthday is today. woah. here's to you, dude!

life is beautiful.

[week2]

haha. i realise that i dun have good stress coping techniques. i manifest like almost all the symptoms of stress. grrrrr.

its gonna be an interesting week. culminating with AHM on sunday. 21 km.

somehow i'm looking forward to the week...

:) you take care

realised that it doesn't make sense to tell yourself otherwise.

[hello myself]

hey dude.

good guys need a break.

i've seen you. i think you've spent enough of your life worrying. feeling sad. wishing things could be different. cursing your ill fortune. coming to terms with things that others just accept and go on.

tear that sadness away. appreciate the beauty of the world around you.

the only true moment is the one we have now. don't waste that worrying.

and btw, take care dude. i think u'll do fine.

good guys need a break.

[ :) ]

oh how i've changed.

somehow wad the lady says in grey's anatomy, after she discovers the man she is about be married to could die in an operation, is most poignant.

how do u plan for the moment when u suddenly lose everything you've wanted?

[help... i'm drifting]

actually that would be a good thing.

hahah had a really bad dream yesterday. after giving it some thought i kinda understand why things happened that way though. old insecurities creeping up on you.

understanding makes it less scary.

[after the ascent]

somehow feeling one of those feelings where u've gone up a peak and are rewarded with a view of the path that lies ahead, something that's been obscured.

and the fact that u know what u have to do seems clear, u seem to gain control to everything.

at this juncture, i hope i never go too high so as my feet stop being with the ground. let me always be humble, yet eternally steadfast and resolute.

its a fine line to draw, but its where i belong.

[like a spanish song]

life feels like a spanish song, it sounds nice for now, though u dun understand wad the hell's going on.

caught somewhere btw myself and the world around me.

holding on to dreams, but for what?

guess that's all i got.

[something in nothing]

yesterday had one of those 'wad is the point of everything days'...

oddly found my answer somewhat during watching desperate housewives and grey's anat.

my internet has been screwy these days. sadness.

downloading NFS most wanted demo now... hehe.

[feeling philosophical. actually just not sleepy]

haha. using my brother's computer to type this post. he has a nice big screen. most conducive for seeing how the words u type on the keyboard take the beautiful form of words on the screen. (btw i'm not using my own cos the internet has "limited or no connectivity")

just ate a banana. it was good. think i'll eat another soon. still abit hungry.

my question tonight. wad kind of guy would u be if u could be one? (addressed to the ladies).

i'm just curious to try to answer that neverending question of wad women want in a guy. i reckon, if i incorporate one or two of those in my life, might put me in a better state.

hmmm to reverse the question. if i could be a girl.

i'd be powerful? hmmm i have seriously no answer. brain's not working.

i'm just bored. and lonely. grrrr.

[i feel charming]

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

watched anger management yesterday. hahah damn funny. jack nicholson is the man lah. really a commanding presence, as adam sandler is always a step behind the maestro.

just before that, watched my name is yEarl. hahah the guy is hilarious. with his hairstyle. actually the both of them remind me of spongebob and patrick.

bought myself a porsche 911 carrera yesterday. well at least a model. something to inspire me towards my goal.

full-f all the way.

yesterday running was power. i think its the salts i took before running. think i should revise some physio to optimise running. goodstuff. grrrrr.

okay. on to the main content of this post. its AUGUST 6 alreadi. like omg. 4 months of holidays just slipped by mugging for the biochem. meeting with frens. driving (and failing). that. wad else did i do?

hahah oh well. read some books.

got the charge.

shit happens.

drift.

being single actually has its perks.

[.]

whenever i get tensioned all these similar emotions keep coming back to me. crappy!

just a random thought on how i'd describe my girlfren when ppl ask about her

"i dreamt her into life!"

[yeah]

its been awhile since i last blogged.

so yes. today was eventful, i guess. eventually got the news that i had passed supps. so yes. welcome to m2 for me.

think i owe myself maybe a movie treat or smth. but that's one more treat above the one i already promised myself for friday.

friday. the day of my test.

yup. and i'm reallly thankful for the guy i got today for driving. its the old dude who took me for lane changing. really told me alot of the fine naunces that i had lost after my 2 month break from driving.

yeah. hopefully can pass, though i know it will be a while till i get my own manual car.

the dream.

driving is an art form.

i need money. license first though.