[burn the slate]

well i've decided to try to burn the slate. u know, that slate in which we record the things ppl do for us, and more notably the things they din do.

okay i'll try to keep the one that does record the good things ppl have done for me, i must be grateful. and yup, life's about those who love you more than those you love.

about the bad things, i'll try to throw it away okay? dunno why, it just keeps piling up, maybe recently. i tell myself that i won't be like them, that in the future i'll be better. but who knows what the future will hold. compared to how idealistic i was in secondary sch and JC, i guess i'm already somewhat of a dissapointment to my previous selves.

its like a battle of tug rope, with each lapse u lose abit. and though you don't see it, you've actually slipped quite a fair bit over time.

ahh. heck the future. this present moment is all i'll ever have. and i'll be the best i can ever be, NOW.

guess u can take your "the best is yet to be" and (censored) (sorry old habits die hard)

i am the hope of a better age =)

[snapshot]

and so. its thursday already.

i'm one case write up away from a weekend.

not to mention another presentation.

feeling detached. but somehow today reminded of what matters most to me.

thank you.

[the death of a dream]

in my world, dreams die insignificent deaths. i don't like to see them die, i make sure i dun mark the date, cos it just feels sad to remember the date for something sad.

feels sucky to be a victim of fate. reminded of my promise to myself, not to give in to the "bludgeonings of chance".

but dreams have prices too. and so, this dream must go. and as the dreams go one by one, i'm left with those that only concern myself.

cos those are the only ones i can hope to control.

can't help but wonder, what if things worked out differently. what if it never happened. and as the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" asks, what if u could erase your memories?

would i be a better person if i hoped more? if my defences were less uptight? if i expected more from ppl?

nonetheless, farewell to this dream.

[when i leave sgh]

sgh rocks.

nothing much else to report.

[mixology]

life's good. heart's feeling lighter, despite occasional relapses.

considering falling in love with work. its quite charming actually, quite easy to buy into all the "do it for the patients" kinda thing. and when u love your work, u won't have to work another day of your life! imagine that. hahaha i hope i stop working soon, in that case.

okay i've had too much fun this saturday. got to meet up with a great fren. great food. a great nap in afternoon. now. just a random feeling of greatness.

and i hope YOU are feeling that way too. cos you are great!

and yes. my thanks to that one wonderful nurse and the many GREAT doctors i've seen so far. hope i can become like u someday.

[hey jim]

hey jim, to answer your question, life's pretty hectic... hahaha...

just typed a email to my medicine batch. got back home at 12 after night call which we ended at 11 so that we could take public transport home. at 2nd dinner when i got back. then came online to type the email. now falling asleep as i try to read about pilonidal abscesses, in wikipedia. after listening to this song that i can't get out of my head, i'm gonna go bathe, although i've have to bathe again in about 5 hrs time. hoping to read abit b4 slumber gets to me.

life's good =)

how's yours going dude?

[monday]

typing monday reminds me of 7days by craig david. ahhh yes, making love by wednesday, and thursday and friday and saturday chilled on sunday.

ugh i hate to keep having to post cryptic posts but it just has to be that way.

sucks to keep having to think back and regret. well i wouldn't be as certain about myself as i am now if it didn't happen, but something has certainly been lost in the process.

oh yah! if u guys had just one wish, wad would it be? wad if u had 5?

[fleeting moments]

Everything that man esteems
Endures a moment or a day.
Love's pleasure drives his love away,
The painter's brush consumes his dreams;
The herald's cry, the soldier's tread
Exhaust his glory and his might:
Whatever flames upon the night
Man's own resinous heart has fed.
- yeats

[gwah]

the weather's getting to me. i hope its not a sample of the future to come.

this global warming thing's got me freaked somewhat. i hope we all can take steps towards helping this world that's given us so much. i guess what the paper article wrote is true. if anything, lose hope. lose hope that someone else is gonna do smth about it. i rmb being a small kid and really feeling worried once. parents told me that i can't just take the burden of the world upon myself. then somewhere along the way, i realised u cannot decide for others. but yes, for others, or for yourself, your kids, your family, we've gotta do smth.

feeling drained after trying to organise a transformers outing. din know so many ppl would wanna watch transformers on saturday.

gotta make this life work for me.

[guys!]

i will work harder.